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Emotional Issues with CF > How to Stay COOL When You Feel HOT!

How to Stay Cool When You Feel Hot!

Why do we lose our cool? There are many reasons why people get upset and lose their cool. Here are some of the most common reasons:

1. Stress and feeling overwhelmed
2. Lack of good self-care
3. Family of origin patterns and responses
4. Personality traits, genetics, cultural influences
5. We feel threatened in some way
6. When our expectations aren’t met
7. A reaction to some kind of obstacle
8. When something we are trying to communicate isn’t received
9. We are worried, afraid, or hurt 

Remember negative emotions, like anger, are not good or bad. They are just part of being human. Such feelings tell us that something is wrong. Noticing them and figuring out the cause can keep us safe. However, the way we cope with negative feelings is critical. Having some simple tools to help you calm down will increase your ability to handle anger, resolve conflict, and solve problems.

Here are some tips and ideas for calming yourself down:

  • Pause. Take five deep breaths slowly.
  • Pause. Count to 10.
  • Pause. Take a drink of cold water.
  • Say: “I am very upset right now. I need a moment to myself. I’ll be back soon.” Leave the room.
  • Meditate or pray each day for 5-10 minutes.
  • Say a calming phrase over and over: “This will soon pass.” “This relationship matters.” “It’s only a phase.” “I can get through this.”

What are one or two new "cool" ideas you can use the next time you feel "hot"?

Lisa Greene

This website is the sole property of Lisa C. Greene, M.A., CFLE. Lisa is a certified parent coach, certified family life educator, public speaker, and a mom. She is also the co-author with Foster Cline, MD of the award-winning Love and Logic® book “Parenting Children with Health Issues.” For more information,  visit visit www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.  
© 2007 – 2023 All materials on this website are copyrighted by Lisa C. Greene dba Happy Heart Famillies unless otherwise noted. 
All Rights reserved. Please contact Lisa for permission to reprint. Thank you.

The information published on this website or in any connected material is the opinion of Lisa C. Greene dba Happy Heart Families only and is not meant to replace professional medical or mental health care.  Persons should always seek the advice of a medical professional when making decisions about personal healthcare or treatment.

Contact: Happy Heart Families at: 10016 Edmonds Way, C#223, Edmonds, WA 98020  (425) 298-7197 or visit Contact Info to send an email.