I can only post this on CF websites cause no one else would understand!! I hope it makes you smile. PS: Please don't read this if the word "fart" offends you. :-)

The Sneak Attack

Cystic fibrosis brings sibling rivalry to a whole new level. I've always said that even through I can't make my kids love each other, I can at least make sure they don't kill each other. (And they actually are very good friends- most of the time...). But get a load of this one:

Working quietly at my desk, not bothering anyone, I hear: "No! Don't tell Mom!!" "Yeah, I'm gonna tell...." My ears prick up. Hmmm. "NO! I don't want you to tell!"

Innocently I ask, "What's up?" My daughter Kasey barges into my office and shuts the door. No... make that slams the door.

"Jacob farted and it made me throw up." Jacob barges into the room.

Trying not to dissolve into a puddle of giggles, I say: "Oh really. That's a bummer. How much did you throw up?"

"About a cup." (Empathy, I tell myself, remember the empathy!)

"Aww, too bad. Where did you throw up?" (Wondering what kind of mess I had on my hands).

"In the toilet."

"Oh good. So, Jacob farted and you felt sick. Since you have such a "touchy" stomach, do you think that maybe whenever he farts, you should leave the room?"

"Well it would be nice if he warned me."

"Yes, it would be. Jacob, whenever you feel a fart coming on, can you please let Kasey know so she can leave? Or you leave?"

Jacob (a little defensive): "Well, I'll try. If I remember." I'm not convinced that I have full buy-in here.

"Jacob, what's the right thing to do here?"

"Leave the room when I'm about to fart."

"Thank you." I should have stopped here but nooooo, the urge to lecture on this one is wayyyy to strong...

"Stinky farts are just a part of CF that both of you will have to deal with. And Kasey, your farts don't smell like roses either. You need to do the same- either warn Jacob or leave the room."

"Weeelllll, sometimes my farts just sneak out- like a sneak attack- and I don't know they are coming." (Oh geez. Is this conversation really happening?)

"Do you think maybe that happens to Jake, too?" Jake perks up immediately. Ah ha! He sees a potential escape route! "So, what's my point here?"

Jake: "To say something or leave when we feel a fart coming."

"And what happens, Kasey, if you smell a fart? Since you're the one that throws up?"

"To leave."

"Good! I'm glad we have that clarified ...." (Yeah right, clear as mud.)

Jacob: "I really can't believe this conversation!"

Mom: "Neither can I." (I'd better go write it down.... and have a big glass of wine to boot!)

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Lisa C. Greene is the mother of two children with cystic fibrosis, a certified parent coach and public speaker. She is also the co-author with Foster Cline MD of the award-winning Love and Logic book "Parenting Children with Health Issues." For more information, see www.ParentingChildrenWithHealthIssues.com.

Visit Lisa's website at www.TipsForCFparents.com.